Insomniac

Rolled, rolled
Face buried on the pillow
Rolled, rolled
Stared at the ceiling
‘Couldn’t help thinking
Wondered
If she also
Thought about you
Waited and waited
Peeked
Through the blanket
That covered
Your whole head
Hoping
For that blinking
Green light
That you always hold on your hand
Nonetheless
She doesn’t feel the same
Like you do.

Carnal

“Why don’t you want
to make love with me?”
Of course I do,
It’s just that…
“Don’t you love me?”

Enigmatic

“Tell me, do you like her?”
No, I do not.
I love her.

Chasm

Initially
I held back
Accumulate
All the feelings
Inside
And sacrifice
A life of regret?

Took the risk
I let it out
Now all we have
Is a great divide
I don’t know
Which is worse
Keeping it in?
And die inside
Or I telling you

And you’re only reply,
Silence
The most powerful message
In life

 

Set

I don’t want
Anyone else
All I want
Is you

Venom

You said
You don’t love me
If you don’t love me
Then stop hating me
By hating me
That proves
That you can’t let go of me
Somehow
I love it
Because you have become
My prisoner
The cold bars, the musky walls, the piercing darkness
I am grateful that
It’s all build up by you
You want to break free?
You can’t
Because you couldn’t see
The prison
Solely
Built by you

Cold Shoulder

It is better
To be turn down
By a bunch of lass
In order
To pave the way
For the
One

Stolen Heart

I was lying in bed one night
In the plains of Kansas
When I heard a voice
Came out of nowhere

Like a shooting star
In the vast of empty skies
The freezing cold rain
And the dreaded wintry mix

Could not hide
It’s light
Shining so bright
That whoever stares at it
Would loss ones sight

I heard her voice
Called my name
Like she’d known me
From all the ages
That has been forgotten
When the ancients passed.

To my surprised
She opened up and gave her trust
To a stranger like me
Whom she barely knew

In return I opened my heart
I let the doors wide open
So she could come and go
Whenever she wants

Little did I know
The moment she gained my trust
That she would steal my heart
And I don’t think
She’ll return it back

Stolen heart, stolen heart
How will I ever
Get you back

She has gone
To the deeps
Where that
Fabled Atlantis
Used to reside.

Winter’s Heart

Winter
Everything withers
Like the heart
That falters
Numb and frozen
Even you give
Flowers in the dozen
Cold and unbridled
But in the right hands
It’ll unravel
I’ll sit here
And wait for spring
To thaw the heart that’s
Been frozen

 

Slippery Slope

Nothing is more painful than someone breaking your heart.  Especially if you’ve been together for so  many years that you wouldn’t even think that something stomach crunching would happen.  You would never dreamed  the idea of betrayal, separation and divorce.  Not once that it ever crossed your mind.  They were no red flags, no signs.  It’s like a flash of lightning in the sky, you didn’t knew where it came from.

Life is full of surprises, I say that a lot.  Unexpected, and when that happens  the universe is reminding us that we are not in control, vulnerable and none of us are the center of it.

Trust is the one that will be taken away from you.  All the years of working it out, the ups and downs, forgiving each other’s mistake, learning to compromise to make the relationship fit and sound.  You learned that in a successful relationship, it’s not about being compatible but to find the common ground of your differences.  That’s what love is.

You’ve asked yourself, what am I lacking.  Am I not good enough?  Were they short comings that I’m not aware of.  Didn’t I give enough?  What else is there that I could give and do, I have given everything, I have love to the fullest.

Confidence and self-esteem starts to erode.   Body, mind and soul have been stomp, it feels like being buried six feet underground.  Slowly but surely, the anguish has taken the ability to trust, self-esteem vanquished.  In a natural response a hedge starts to grow, then fences, but it’s not enough the sorrow is still there.   A wall must be erected, but wait, the door is still open, so shut that too.  Nothing goes in, nothing goes out.  It must be done for the act of self-preservation and self-worth.

But to what costs?

It is okay to be lonely.  It is perfectly fine to cry your heart out, scream if you must. Drink to drown the sorrows but don’t get drunk.  Let time do the healing.  It’s a dangerous slope albeit a slippery one, when that loneliness turns to bitterness.  You shut the world out.  They are and they will be cheaters, liars and deceivers. Love is not the only one that could make you blind, so is pain. At the same time they are good people too, do not forget that.  Good people who are willing to help, care without reservations and love you like the way you loved even surpassing it.

They couldn’t get through  because the barriers that’s been built.  In heartaches  you could either lose or win.  Lose, if you choose to refuse and see what could be learn from it.  Win, if you choose to open up the doors, get out there and apply what you’ve learned.

Getting hurt sucks!  But growth is impossible as long as you’re confined through those barriers that’s been put up.  That door you refuse to open.

Do not wait until that time when the people who cares for you get tired of waiting in front of your door that you’ll open up when they’re not there anymore.  Not everyone here is out to get you, not everyone here will take advantage of you.  Some still speaks and do the truth, some still have a pure heart.

Open the door to your heart and let them help heal you.  They are knocking day and night, do not wait until the knocking stops to the point they’re just waiting there in front of your door.  Sooner or later they’ll get weary.  One by one, they’ll start walking away.  Then  you’ll find yourself looking for them.

None is lose until you stop trying, doing and learning.  The universe is not picking on you, God is certainly not picking on you.

It’s life..it’s just life…